notes.unsay

Movie critics have two jars. On their right, “BUBBLES” is etched in Univers on leaded crystal. To their left, “FINGER” is carved in Futura Extra Fucking Bold on pure obsidian. They spend hours effervescing and grouching on notecards. Then, when they see a movie and write the review, they reach in the appropriate jar and pull out something which is all sorts of clever.

Sometimes, I wish I had an accent. When I try, people ask, “Why does it sound like everything you say is a question?” It’s because I don’t know what I’m doing.

Once again, there comes a time in a man’s life where he has to make a decision. On one hand, I’m sleepy. On the other hand, I’m sleepy. Do I write? Do I read?

Reading will put me to sleep, even though it is Killing Pablo, the story of Pablo Escobar and his Colombian drug cartel. It is fascinating and very good at helping you wake up in the morning.

Writing on the other hand, will produce tangental thoughts I wonder about in the morning. Right now, it’s a desire to sing Billy Joel as spoken word.

And now, I need a lullabye. I think William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy singing Put a Little Love in Your Heart will do the trick.

Every morning before work, I put on my pants on just like the rest of you — one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make websites. Then, I take the keys from my dresser and put them in my right front pocket. My mobile phone and wallet go in the left front pocket.

Years ago, when my wallet was a real wallet, I kept it in my back pocket. In college, I used an Altoid tin. They are a smidge larger than credit cards and protect everything in them, but destroy your pants. The big upshot: people don’t steal Altoids.

It bothers me I grew out of the tin stage. People commented on the novelty. They don’t do it with a wallet. Come to think of it, I still have a box of 200 empty tins in my closet. I saw a lot of them on eBay for $50 once. They’ll probably be worth lots of money one day.

Being able to write a note over instant messaging to the site is useful. It allows me to capture raw emotion through punctuation free acronyms.